With my two boys at 18 years old and 18 months, I’m in the curious position of raising boys 17 years apart. My house holds both the beginning and the end of childhood, and it’s a glorious thing. As one boyhood is just beginning to blossom, and we wonder who he will become, the other one is leaving behind his childhood and accepting the life of a man.
Watching my littlest one learn to walk and talk often reminds me of when his big brother was doing the same, and I was learning to be a mom. These two are my only experience raising little boys, as my three children in between are girls. Boyhood and girlhood share many similarities, but there is no denying my boys are different from my girls.
When my oldest was little, he’d go outside and play in rough and tough ways. The girls would sit and play in their fairy garden. When my oldest was a boy playing with his cars, he’d race them for hours if he was allowed—celebrating victories and keeping a winner’s log. The girls, however, would stage weddings when playing with cars. My son found a stick was useful for almost everything when outside; the girls always looked for flowers and clovers. No one directed the children in this way. With the proper free time and space, it just was.
Now, I’m tasked with helping preserve the time and space for the work of another little boy. Although he has his dad and big brother alongside him to show him the work of a man, much of what he needs to do right now isn’t something he needs to be taught. He instinctively knows how to be a boy.
One of our favorite books to read right now reminds me so much of what I observed and learned when my oldest was a young boy. The Brave Cowboy by Joan Walsh Anglund tells the story of the beautiful work of a boy. Anglund captures the playful busyness of a boy in lovely black and white drawings, except for when the cowboy has some imaginative tasks to do. The work of his imagination is drawn in red ink, bringing a wonderful understanding of the boy’s work to the reader. While his work may not always be real, Anglund makes it very clear that it is important and true.
This little cowboy is “strong and brave” and stands “tall and straight.” He takes care of his morning routine of chores and hygiene as any good boy should, eating his breakfast, feeding his cat, brushing his teeth, and getting dressed in his hat, boots, and two holster-belt.
Then, he sets out to make the world a safer place by stopping ornery rustlers and bank robbers, scaring rattlesnakes, and hunting mountain lions. But a hero’s job is not just capturing bad guys and stopping wild beasts. The cowboy is always busy with his hard work, not all of which is glamorous: bringing in provisions, helping fair maidens, and protecting stagecoaches from dangerous bridges.
Like any boy, he has good days—first prize in the rodeo, for example—and bad days—a lame horse, of course. On those bad days, the cowboy has an important reminder for little boys, big boys, and all the ladies alike: the cowboy “is never baffled, he was not afraid, and he never gave up.”
The Brave Cowboy ends with night falling on the prairie, and the cowboy preparing for bed, tired from the hard work of a boy.
If you have a little boy, I think you’ll enjoy reading this book with him. Hopefully, it’s a good reminder to let your boy have some wide open time and space to find his way through the prairie or the jungle or the rugged mountains. He needs to do this work to prepare for the work of a man. If you have a big boy, I think you’ll be reminded of sweet days with a busy little boy. And if you’re like me, the final illustration of a tired cowboy asleep on his bed will make you tearfully thankful for a day well spent and the work of a boy.
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