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The Gift of Grief

September 18, 2017 by James D. Witmer 9 Comments

It is the business of a sinful world to turn our eyes away from Jesus – to the more pressing, familiar-seeming things around us: “a newsboy shouting the midday paper, and a No. 73 bus going past” (Lewis, The Screwtape Letters).

Our work, entertainment, and hobbies act as anesthetics. And like anesthetics, they block pain and pleasure – grief and joy – alike. We grow blind to the glory shining through cracks in a broken world.

This is why I say that grief is not the opposite of joy. The opposite of joy is despair. Grief is a sign of a heart alive, of red blood pumping oxygen to the part of our soul that longs to see the un-reflected face of Jesus.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace

It is strange, then, that I seem often to ask my children not to feel so deeply.

“Don’t cry – you can go to the store next time.”

“Balloons pop! That’s just what they do. Let’s be thankful it was attached to your body for the last 72 hours.”

“Let me see, big boy. Ok, it’s just a bump, not a real boo-boo. Shake it off!”

I want to equip my kids to deal with grief. They must learn to see beyond disappointment, to channel tears into a stream of prayer; to live through the pain, even with thankfulness.

But I pray that I never teach them to deny grief, to prefer an anesthetized heart. Because if we refuse to grieve for ourselves, for those who weep, for an entire world groaning for redemption, we refuse to be like Christ.  We refuse to really live.

And here is the good news: Resurrection life and joy follow death and grief. Reconciliation and great love follow sorrow and great repentance. The blessings of the Kingdom are for the hungry, the poor in spirit, and for those who mourn.

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James D. Witmer
James D. Witmer
James is the author of children’s books A Year in the Big Old Garden, Beside the Pond, and the Allen Family Mysteries series.

He continues to write about adventure, backyard wildlife, and realizing there are no ordinary places, and you can find him at JamesDWitmer.com.
James D. Witmer
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Filed Under: Fostering Imagination, Parenting Tagged With: C.S. Lewis

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Comments

  1. Kristen P says

    July 9, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    Beautiful. May we all be, more and more, a people who groan for redemption.

    Reply
  2. Josiah Smith says

    July 10, 2012 at 12:53 am

    Thanks James.. that was what I needed.

    Reply
  3. James Witmer says

    July 10, 2012 at 6:45 am

    Kristen, thank you. And amen!

    Josiah, I’m so glad. May our Father’s comfort find you and all who mourn.

    Reply
  4. Loren Eaton says

    July 12, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    Good post, James. Regarding your impulse to shelter your kids from pain, I think it’s biblical to sympathize with those who mourn and thereby take away some of the sting. Honestly, though, I’d probably feel relief after 72 hours with that balloon.

    Reply
  5. Vincent says

    July 17, 2012 at 7:51 pm

    Bravo, James! Thanks for making something that can appear to be so grandiose real in the everyday moments of parents. I appreciate your perspective on the world and your style as a writer.

    Reply
  6. Patty Sommer says

    September 18, 2017 at 5:34 pm

    I feel as if we are living in a cycle of grief right now, and I just want it to be over. Thank you for the reminder.

    Reply
    • James Witmer says

      September 25, 2017 at 8:36 am

      Patty, I know that feeling. And so does our Savior. Hang in there.

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. The Gift of Grief « In Response says:
    July 9, 2012 at 8:19 am

    […] Read this article at the Story Warren: […]

    Reply
  2. The Warren and the World, Vol 4 ‹ Story Warren says:
    July 13, 2012 at 6:09 am

    […] opened up the week talking about the value of grief for your kids. I needed this. • Alyssa talked about sowing mercy in your children’s lives.  • Sam […]

    Reply

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