When my kids were young, I wanted them to choose activities I knew to be enriching: reading, drawing, building, creating, piecing together puzzles, inventing imaginative games. But when boredom came and I would suggest said activities, my ideas were often met with disinterest. Maybe it was because they were hoping I’d suggest something that required less of them, something more similar to entertainment. Maybe it was because they wanted the ideas to be their own. Maybe it was because they were a wee bit tired of my voice telling them what they could or should be doing. Any of those reasons would be understandable.
One day, I pinpointed an idea that helped: Quiet Invitations. It is simple. All of my favorite ideas (and lesson plans and recipes) seem to be the simplest. I found that if I took a moment to set up an activity in an inviting way, my kids often chose to engage. No words were necessary. I’d place a piece of clean, white paper on the kitchen table with a freshly sharpened pencil lying across it. I’d pull the basket of blocks off the shelf and build a tower or staircase in the middle of the living room floor, then walk away. I’d choose a high-quality children’s book from the shelf and put it on the couch, its cover facing outward (like displays in bookstores). I’d pick out a few articles of clothing from the dress-up bin and lay out an unexpected outfit combination. I’d set a canister of playdough on the counter with a rolling pin and a few cookie cutters. I might even roll out the dough and poke it with a fork a few times because doing so is inexplicably satisfying. None of the above took much time. Sometimes, my invitations were ignored and that was okay. But often, a kid would accept an invitation and become lost in a beneficial activity for a while.
I do this for myself too.
A thought that often runs through my head is “man, I wish someone had made muffins today” because I usually want to eat a muffin but I can’t if no one has made any. And I have finally figured out the quiet invitation that will often lead me to be the maker of the muffins. Clean countertops! If I take 10 focused minutes to clear all the clutter and thoroughly wipe down the counters, I have invited the baker inside of me to awaken. I look at the empty countertops like I do a plain white sheet of paper with a sharpened pencil lying across it. And if I accept the invitation to use the open space to create, everyone around me wins because then there are muffins.
Before going to bed each night, I often place my journal and bible on the side table next to my favorite chair. And on that chair, I go ahead and drape a plush blanket. I add French coffee grounds and filtered water to my coffee maker and set the timer to delay the brew until 6:30am. I plug my phone into an outlet in our (out-of-the-way) laundry room. Upon exiting my bed, I am instantly invited to a better way of starting my day (sipping warmth, reading psalms, writing thoughts and prayers) than I might otherwise choose (scrolling on my phone while standing in the kitchen).
Every single day, I am invited to behold beauty. In this case, I don’t even need to set anything up. It’s just there for my enjoyment, whether I see it or not. The setting of the sun through the winter trees, the rising of the moon over the interstate, the earnest faces of my loved ones, the shiftings of the seasons, the colors (some vibrant, others subtle) of the songbirds that visit our feeder. I simply get to choose whether or not to be on the lookout for the invitations that surround me.
Invitations are beautiful. They are personal. They are honoring. My presence is desired! My small efforts matter! What I create can be nourishing! My attention is powerful! The whole earth is filled with God’s glory and I am invited to partake.
And in a larger sense, invitations are at the heart of the gospel. We are invited to receive grace, mercy, and freedom. We are invited to cleanliness through confession and repentance. We are invited to enjoy communion with our heavenly Father and fellowship with our neighbors. We are invited to stand in awe of the beauty of His creation. We are invited to reflect our creator by creating too. We are invited. We don’t have to earn our invitations by being smart, righteous, charismatic, interesting, good-looking or talented.
The invitations are there, regardless of what we do or do not deserve, waiting to be noticed. Waiting for our responses. Waiting to help us choose, again and again, what we ultimately want to choose. To say YES PLEASE to abundant life with our actions and attentions as well as our words.
Shelley lives with her family in Greensboro, NC, where she is always seeking balance between work, rest and play.
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I just enjoyed reading what you wrote, Shelley! Enjoyed it so much!!