My eleven year old burst into tears while sitting on the couch.
As I rushed over to investigate, I noticed a worn copy of Howard Pyle’s The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood in her hand.
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
“All the adventures happen in books and never to meeeeee…” she cried. Her tears and distress were real, so I stifled the smile that threatened.
It brought back a dusty memory of myself, twelve years old, praying fervently every night that God would send adventure, and it made me wonder: Why are preteens so desperate for swash-buckling?
At a stage when their cognitive development is often outpacing their physical development, many preteens are encountering conflict for the first time. They are just becoming aware that problems exist in their families, communities, and world. For the first time, they are having to answer life’s big questions for themselves, developing their own worldview instead of just relying on that of their parents. They are confronted with the inner conflict of becoming a mature adult while still harboring the desires of childhood.
The journey of a child from childhood to adulthood is not unlike the hero’s journey, a narrative device made popular by author Joseph Campbell. In the hero’s journey, an ordinary person receives a call to adventure, crosses a threshold, faces challenges and temptations, encounters a revelation, is transformed and atoned for, and returns home changed. Think Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit or Edmund Pevensie in The Lion, the Witch, and The Wardrobe.
But also think about your preteen. He or she has just received a call to adventure (the adventure of growing up). It really is too much sometimes when you still expect him or her to have an 8:30pm bedtime.
As parents, we can’t manufacture the adventure they’re craving, but we can encourage them to seek the right kinds of adventure. Healthy friendships, playing sports, excelling at schoolwork or hobbies, and encouraging them to read adventures in which the main characters grow in virtue will help set them up for success when they fight the real dragons, rescue others in distress, or encounter the many battles they will face during their teen years.
For my daughter, watching older siblings drive off to a summer as camp counselors with many friends, outings, and opportunities while she stayed home with “the little kids” made her thirst for adventure seem unquenchable, unreachable. She’s gazing into the haze of the next seven years and hoping to be able to step over that threshold and embark on the journey of a lifetime.
As I watch her, at 40 years old, I notice how much I’ve lost my thirst for adventure. I don’t like my routines interrupted or my schedules crashed. I would rather have indoor plumbing and my own bed than go camping. And, while I really enjoy the outdoors, I would rather not climb high things or snowshoe over thin ice.
My daughter needs me to be more adventurous though, and her thirst for it is inspiring me. She reminds me that Bilbo Baggins was fifty when he left the Shire to go on his grand adventure in The Hobbit, and she says, “You’re not even close to fifty yet.”
So, this summer, we took kayaks out on the lake. She taught me all about edible plants in our area as she did a 4H project, and then, we traveled to take it to the state fair. She and her dad went on a mission trip to another state. We worked together to provide a home for a displaced child. We tried new recipes, and we planted a new variety of cucumber. We agreed that we would take the adventure that was sent to us.
Maybe she had a little less than she would have liked and I got a little more, but we enjoyed growing together. We both learned that hunting for adventure might just be an adventure in itself.
Featured image, “On the Hunt for Adventure,” by Alan Herberger and Honorbound Media.
At night, she writes articles, Bible study curriculum for children, and books, including her latest novel The Winning of Lady Wisdom. You can follow her adventures at SarahDixonYoung.com
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