Even Me?

“What in the world are you reading?” I asked. “I haven’t seen you take your face out of that book in two days.”

My sister, seemingly against her will, tore her eyes from the page to meet my gaze. It took her a second to readjust to being in the real world again before she began to look sheepish.

“Okay, hear me out,” she began. “It’s a book about rabbits.”

I felt my exceedingly wise, high school self begin an eye roll, when my sister hastily added, “But it’s so good! I’m in the last 100 pages and simply can’t stop.”

Knowing she had good taste in stories, I waited until she was finished (approximately an hour later) and then decided to give it a try for myself. Little did I know I was picking up one of my new favorite books.

If you haven’t guessed already, I’m speaking of my introduction to Richard Adam’s Watership Down. I’m sure many of you have a similar story of how you came to know and love the unlikeliest of heroes, a group of rabbits searching for their own “high and lonely place.”

I feel like I join a fair amount of you in claiming Bigwig to be my favorite character. I liked him well enough the entire story, but he officially clenched the title when he stood his ground against General Woundwort, wounded and exhausted, and declared…

“My Chief Rabbit has told me to defend this run and until he says otherwise I shall stay here.”

I don’t know about you, but I feel a shiver of courage run through me every time I read those words. 

I’ve read the book many times since then and decided to have another run through here recently. Feeling old, I realized this time marks eighteen years since my initial read. All the maturity those years have given me came to bear as a completely new thought haunted me through those beloved pages. It’s a question I can’t seem to get away from.

What if I’m not Bigwig, strong and courageous? What if I’m not a leader like Hazel or  insightful like Fiver or clever like Blackberry? Or what if I’m not even one of the competent rank and file like Acorn or Hawkbit? What if I’m small and more often a hindrance than a help? 

What if I’m Pipkin?

Pipkin…

The one who needed help crossing the stream. The one who couldn’t get the thorn out of his own paw. The one who is just happy to be there, can’t believe his own good luck, and adds little outside of his presence to the group. The one who asks, “Even me?”

Yet, as I read this story again there is something I can’t help but notice about Pipkin. For everything he has going against him, there is one thing he does consistently throughout the book. It’s so simple, making it easy to overlook.

Pipkin always wants to be where Hazel is.

He doesn’t have much to offer, but if Hazel is going, Pipkin is going, too. His “even me?” mentality actively encourages his, “Yes, of course” method of following. It’s not much, but if you think about it, it’s beautiful.

This sentiment should inform the way I see myself and God. Because when it comes to God, I have nothing to offer. Only the tools He gave me in the first place. I’m happy to come to Him when I have something to offer, but what if all I have to give is just open hands and a hallelujah in my heart? Is that enough or do I tell myself I must bring more? Am I content to have the Lord if the Lord is all that I get?

Am I content to just be Pipkin? 

I love the story of Mary and Martha, partly because I am a Martha myself. God has given me gifts (just as He’s given you gifts, I may add), and I like being busy in using them. The older I get, though, the more I come to realize that all my services were rendered using abilities given to me. If God were to take back all He has given, there wouldn’t be much left. A couple of hands and a heart. So really, it’s not a matter of if I am Pipkin, it’s a matter of me rightly seeing myself as such and then using his good example to say, “Yes, Lord.”

I say all these things, yet there is one thing we have that Pipkin doesn’t. Hazel has many strengths, but they are coupled with many weaknesses. Hazel decides to go to the farm on a mission of hubris. He chooses Pipkin to go with him because he knows Pipkin will follow him anywhere. Pipkin trusts someone who is only thinking of themselves and not the danger they are putting him in. For all Hazel’s strengths and kindness, he doesn’t deserve Pipkin’s absolute trust.

Praise be to God that we are living a better, truer story!

So to all you Marthas and Bigwigs out there, God has given you gifts…go and use them! Bless people with your work. Be the hands and feet of Jesus. Yet, in all our doing, let us remember the lesson Mary and Pipkin can teach us. Sit at the feet of Jesus and marvel at what grace has been given to us. Yes, even you. Yes, even me.

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Featured image from the Watership Down graphic novel adaptation by Joe Sutphin and James Sturm.