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Ideas on Hold: Embracing the Selfless Call to Creative Parenting

May 6, 2013 by James D. Witmer 6 Comments

Creative people of all kinds – from writers to inventors, gardeners to entrepreneurs – are often asked a funny sort of question: How do you get all your ideas?

“They honestly didn’t know,” writes Isacc Asimov. “To them it was an impossibility to even think of one. … Could I say I don’t know? When I go to bed, I can’t sleep for ideas dancing in my head. When I shave, I cut myself; when I talk, I lose track of what I’m saying, when I drive, I take my life in my hands. And always because ideas… are spinning and twisting in my mind. Can you tell me, maybe, your trick of not getting ideas, so I, too, can have a little peace?”

My friend S.D. Smith plaintively wrote in an email, “I …sometimes feel like all I do is think. All ideas all the time. …It’s a constant battle to avoid letting this incurable condition overwhelm me.”

But it’s not the ideas that are a problem – it’s having more ideas than time. And it’s not just super-creative parents who struggle. In this interconnected, Pinteresting world, is there anyone without a list of good things we could, should, would like to do?

Loving my wife and children takes creativity of the highest sort. So does working my job, and loving my friends and neighbors. Yesterday’s affection cannot be recycled. Today’s bread must be fresh.

We battle against the deluge of ideas because love requires it. Love requires that we embrace duties which keep us from our ideas. We wash dishes to free counter space for art-time, only to fill it with snack-time instead.

So what to do with these ideas – these badgering, bullying, creative impulses that hammer at the windows of the house love built?

We can let them in one by one and insist they be house-broken, that they wait their turn behind boo-boos, yard work, ABCs, and PBJs, but what of the ones waiting outside? How to tune them out? And if we do – what if they go away?

Having too many ideas in my head makes me anxious and demanding, because I fear losing something. Keeping an actual list of ideas can help to empty them out, but it only partially soothes the fear of missing out on something good. Thus, I love this passage from Michael Card’s Scribbling in the Sand:

“Creativity is worship insofar as it is, at its essence, a response. I hear the Word, and I respond with silence, in adoration, in appreciation by picking up the basin and the towel. It is a romantic response to this Person whom I adore. He is beautiful! I want nothing more than to be in his presence. I love him! And so I sing and I write. If I could paint or dance I would do that as well. I forgive someone who couldn’t care less about being forgiven. I try to reach out across the vast distance between me and my brother or sister.

Because it is a response, it does not originate with me. He speaks. He moves. He is beautiful. We respond. We create. We worship.”

Card puts these ideas into their proper context – as part of an ongoing relationship with our Creator, not a natural resource to be milled into goods. They do not originate with us. They are not ours in any permanent sense, any more than are our bodies. In other words: Easy Come, Easy Go, and do not fear; His beauty is inexhaustible.

My list of ideas is long, and the time for executing them is short. But after years of grudgingly delayed gratification, I am becoming thankful.

I realize that the gift of ideas could be withheld, but it is not. And the opportunity to live as a “little Christ” is a mercy that was dearly bought. Reconciling them needs only time, and that, too, is a gift.

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James D. Witmer
James D. Witmer
With a heart for writing about adventure, small woodland creatures, and what happens when you realize there are no ordinary places, James is the author of A Year in the Big Old Garden, a short story collection for children 4-10.

He occasionally blogs at jamesdwitmer.com or @jamesdwitmer, spends his free time digging in the garden with his wife, and is pleasantly surprised to find that loving his family makes meaningful change in the world.
James D. Witmer
Latest posts by James D. Witmer (see all)
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  • Ember’s End: An Interview with S. D. Smith - February 26, 2020

Filed Under: Fostering Imagination, Parenting

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Comments

  1. Cara Sexton says

    May 6, 2013 at 9:23 am

    Just wonderful.

    Reply
  2. Annie Barnett says

    May 6, 2013 at 11:37 am

    Love this perspective. Deep sigh – thank you.

    Reply
  3. Carrie says

    May 6, 2013 at 2:28 pm

    I really needed this today. Thank you.

    Reply
  4. James Witmer says

    May 7, 2013 at 2:18 pm

    Annie, I agree.

    I’m delighted to pass it along, so you’re all very welcome, and thank you all for the kind words.

    If you liked this, and if you have time for reading, you really ought to get hold of the entire book: Scribbling in the Sand, by Michael Card. I think it should be read by practically everyone!

    Reply
  5. Rachel says

    May 8, 2013 at 10:05 am

    What eloquent words! My over-flowing-with-ideas, half-started-creative-projects-all-over-the-house Mommy heart needed this today. Thank you!

    Reply
  6. Katie says

    August 24, 2018 at 9:50 pm

    “Yesterday’s affection cannot be recycled.”

    Profound.

    Reply

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