At the start of summer, we said goodbye to our friends. They moved two states away. Despite the passing of time and the start of fall, I still feel the loss of them.
Our friendship began through our children. My daughter, though older than their son, was determined to become his first friend. And through their friendship, our friendships began as well.
Soon we gathered in each other’s homes, in restaurants, markets, parks, and trains. We went roller skating, to the orchestra, pool, aquarium, and spent late nights swapping stories and growing.
One particular evening, when we were watching their son, we set up a tent for storytelling and snuggles. We walked barefoot around the neighborhood, and dotted toy animals across the backyard. We grew in delight as we watched the wonder of his thoughts, words, and expressions. And before bedtime, he and our daughter wore matching navy blue pajamas with bright white stars. When they hugged, they looked like one.
In time, we learned that our season of togetherness would soon end. They would move, and we would be left behind with empty blocks on the calendar and quiet evenings at home. We’d no longer stop by their house to hear about his latest interest, watch him pound the keys of the piano, or hear him ask about our cats. Soon we’d miss seeing his tiny toes. We’d miss the feeling of his hand in ours. We’d miss the warmth of shared meals and lives.
In our final days together, we ate, laughed, and served one another. We moved boxes and cleaned cabinets. We said goodbye on their front lawn, with cars passing by, and our tears falling to the ground.
One day, after they moved and settled into their new home, their son called us and said how he couldn’t wait for us to come over later that day. But we couldn’t go because they were there and we were here. And my heart ached.
This isn’t the first time we’ve been left behind. But somehow it felt like the worst. As much as time passes, I still feel the ache. I still feel the empty spaces in our week. I still see them when I shop in the market and eat certain foods. I think of them often, and thankfully we continue to grow, despite the distance. It’s just different.
Many of us experience seasons of leaving and of being left behind. Seasons of moving and saying goodbye—of welcoming new friends and missing those who have gone.
Friendships ebb and flow. They change and shift. And some of us are better at holding onto them than others. I’ve chosen three picture books to help us through the losses within friendship, because it’s important to give words to our feelings. It’s important to journey with a character in a book who understands what you’re going through. Who grasps what you’re feeling.
In Janey, Charlotte Zolotow addresses the loneliness that remains after a friend moves away. She shares simple memories—like walking home from school together, skipping rocks, sailing paper boats, and the sound of one’s voice. She mentions how you might even miss the silence within friendship—the comfortability of not needing to say anything at all, when you’ve gained the freedom to simply be. She expresses these truths gently, simply, and profoundly. Janey ends with the hope that the friends can one day be together again, while also wishing that the friend had never moved at all. I appreciate her holding space for both of these feelings simultaneously.
Be sure to check out Zolotow’s other titles. You’ll be glad you did!
In Friends, Eric Carle expresses the longing to find a friend who has moved away. The story begins with the two friends doing everything together: playing, running, dancing, and sharing secrets. When one friend moves away, the one left behind feels lonely. So he embarks on a long journey to find his friend. And when he finally does, she replies, “I knew you would come”. I love this beautiful understanding and assurance in friendship—that we will still be there; that we will still come in one way or another. The story ends with the two friends again doing everything together: talking, running, dancing, sharing secrets . . . and a new addition.
Consider how Carle’s story is based on his own childhood friendship. Perhaps a child in your life can relate. Perhaps you can, too.
In Amos & Boris, William Steig portrays the wonder of enduring friendship, even when separated by distance. It’s the story of an unexpected bond between two mammals: a mouse and a whale. Despite their vast differences in size and habitat, they share many similarities. As the story progresses, they both have opportunities to rescue the other—which leads to a deep mutual sense of security. Twice during the story, they realize they might never see each other again, yet they still share a deep love and gratitude for their friendship, and for each other.
Explore the excellent use of vocab in Steig’s story. As you do, be sure to also delight in his witty text and illustrations.
Consider these titles if your child is experiencing a distance in a friendship—whether physical distance or emotional. And if you are in need of some comfort, do the same.
The fact is that I don’t make books for children at all. I make them for that part of us, of myself and of my friends, which has never changed, which is still a child.”
Leo Lioni
She is the author of The Good News for Little Hearts series and lives with her husband, two daughters, and two cats just outside of Philadelphia.
- When Friends Move Away: Three Picture Books to Bring Comfort - November 13, 2024
- Review: Birdie’s Bargain - July 17, 2024
- Keep Turning the Pages - June 17, 2024
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