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Loving Your Introverted Child as She Is

November 12, 2012 by S. D. Smith 9 Comments

I thought this little video, from the theme to the art, was a neat fit for the vision of Story Warren. I especially appreciated Susan Cain’s point regarding a cultural shift towards overvaluing people gifted as dynamic, entertaining, charismatic personalities (celebrity pastors, anyone?) and undervaluing quieter people with humbler vocations.

“As we shifted from an agricultural economy to a corporate one, we started to admire people who could be magnetic and charismatic, because these were the qualities that seemed to matter for job interviews and things like that. And so in the earlier agricultural economy, our self-help books used to have titles like Character: The Grandest Thing in the World, but then the self-help books later on became the ones we know today, like Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, and those were all about teaching us to be more entertaining, more dynamic.” –Susan Cain

The video’s encouragement seems consistent with the Christian vision of diversity and unity in the Body of Christ which Paul shares with us in 1 Corinthians 12 (quoted below). We are not all the same, but are called to a complementary expression of community life. In our homes this is daily worked out in miniature (people). So, let’s love our little introverts (and extroverts, too) and scheme about how to help them live in the world God made, as he made it, with the gifts he has given them.

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.
    For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.
    The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.
    Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

(1 Corinthians 12:12-27 ESV)

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Featured Image courtesy of Rebecca Smith Photography

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S. D. Smith
S. D. Smith
S. D. Smith is the award-losing author of The Green Ember Series. Sam loves chocolate chip cookies, soccer, and knights who kill dragons.
S. D. Smith
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Filed Under: Fostering Imagination, Parenting

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Comments

  1. mkhulu says

    November 12, 2012 at 10:05 am

    …..be just what you is, not what you is not. Folk that do this is the happiest lot.

    Reply
    • S.D. Smith says

      November 12, 2012 at 5:56 pm

      Word up.

      Reply
  2. redheadkate says

    November 12, 2012 at 1:28 pm

    Susan Cain’s TedTalk and book on introverts were really eye opening for me. They helped me understand myself much better and figure out better ways to relate to the rest of the world.

    Reply
    • S.D. Smith says

      November 12, 2012 at 5:58 pm

      I haven’t read the books yet, Kate. But I agree. When I first heard her on NPR doing an interview, I felt an enormous sense of relief. Maybe I’m sort of normal, I thought. Though, I’m not a full-blooded introvert.

      Reply
  3. Judy says

    November 12, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    I love that I have one of each – the extrovert brings energy in the door with him, and the introvert blesses us with her stillness. (And to be fair, the extrovert can bring a little chaos, and the introvert some inexplicable moodiness – they are not perfect! Just wonderful as they are.) Thank you for the reminder to accept them for who they each are.
    “The Introvert Advantage” is worth a read for those struggling to make sense of their own or their child’s introverted way of living in the world.

    Reply
    • S.D. Smith says

      November 12, 2012 at 6:00 pm

      Thanks, Judy! I love that you have both and enjoy both, while not expecting them to be the same. Way to go. You give me hope and encouragement as a parent. Thanks!

      Reply
  4. ClayofCO says

    November 12, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    This was cool even without the narration. Loved the Woz cat.

    I am an introvert. I scored 100% on the MBTI. Actually I scored 100% on my entire type, INTJ. I appreciate extraverts (note: proper Jungian and Latin derivation is with an “a”, thank you), but I understand introverts. FTR, I am married to an extravert who used to insist at verbal length that she was an introvert, and I have two intros and two extras for children.

    Introverted children need time to process internally what they are thinking before they commit it to actual words. Extraverts generally think with their mouths, and are not keen on waiting for the introvert to form and verbalize their curated thoughts. Parents need to be aware of that dynamic because introverts will still be thinking while an extravert is talking, and a rich thought can be left on the internal table while the extravert moves on to the next thing on their minds. Introverts need to be drawn out, and invited to express what is on their mind.

    Next, let’s talk about iNtutiveness. The imagination type.

    Reply
    • SD Smith says

      November 12, 2012 at 10:27 pm

      Clay, how much would you charge just to follow me around and tell me stuff all day? I gotta have more Clay in my life!

      Reply

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